Chained to inferiority [ Part 4]
After two years of isolating myself in primary school I thought that high school would be the same experience for me if I applied the same rules. Little did I know that I was misleading myself into thoughts that were not in the slightest bit part of reality.
Walking through the gates of high school was completely terrifying.
My heart started racing, hands sweating and my throat felt dry as if were in the desert. I remember leaning against a wall to try to look cool. I guess it worked because before I knew it, a beautiful, confident looking girl and her two friends came up to me and asked me if I wanted to hang with them.
Damn, I must have made a very good impression for I never imagined someone wanting to “hang” around a flat blob such as myself. So, day one and two hadn’t turned out to be that bad. It was the third day when reality hit light a thousand knife stabs in my heart. The beautiful, confident looking girl started asking me if I had made any friends of my own. Sh*t!
This was when I realised that she was two years my senior and must have lost interest in babysitting me. I told her that I’ve found great people to chill with just to lessen the pain I felt from the wound she had inflicted on me. After that break-up, I started scouting for people I thought had the same personality as me and yay! I found one.. This was my first breakthrough and I could finally tell myself that I was capable of handling the social scene. At least I thought so. I gained a closer relationship with a girl named Elsie; she was a bit chubby so I thought that qualified us both to have something in common.
As time passed I realized that the only reason why she agreed to being my friend was because of my pocket money she benefited from.
Intresting...but sad...but I'm proud of how strong and beautiful you are today...but your childhood made you who you are today lifes challengers faced you and the greatest is that you focused on it and my comment says you did what a child had to do...enjoying your ice cream and prezels no matter the weight you took care of yourself even though you felt embarresment you were only a child,yes with emotions but look at you now...I remember telling my lil sis the other day that its better growing as a kid being unrecorgnized by your beauty so you can focus on living your chilhood to the fullest and be recorgnized when you older...cause it hurt the most when you were a drop that gorgeous when you were a teenager not that you a pre-adult you a meduim beauty and not getting the attention or comments you got when you were a teen.God loves us all and we won't all shine at the same time...I looked at you as a bundle of joy and not as"fat" cause you were such a sweet and chubby little girl who always had something nice for me to eat on...remember those who hurt us makes us stronger...all those mean people that would call you names an make fun of you...don't even come near you today cause that "fat kid" is a successful young goodlooking and intelligent Lady...you might feel isolated at times but remember people are watching you and not when you looking...but when you no looking...you an inspiration to many of us and we all learn from eachother...for your experience is the foundation of your success:Love u RelentlessDiva
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