Chained to inferiority [ Part 3]

The weight gain continued and I grew bigger by the day. Clothes became smaller and the two pieces of clothing that fit me properly was my blue printed skirt and light brown pair of pants which I wore every weekend to try and look different.

Teenage hormones started taking its course and I was already embarking on the menstruation phase of my life which I thought was too soon. Mini breast developed, stretch marks became visible on my arms, thighs and waist. Hips started growing and I found it all to be too much.

Fellow schoolmates frequently questioned the changes in my body that I hadn’t understood because it was all too abnormal for me. Oversized clothes began to be all I wore which later contributed to people’s belief that I was indeed a freak.
My sister’s life always seemed glamorous to me. She had everything; the right body size, a lot of friends and a sharp tongue. This meant that she always got what she wanted. I on the other hand, had to make ends meat with what I had because I wasn’t a big talker who fussed about things. I now realize that you only cause suffering to yourself by not voicing your likes and dislikes.


We hardly ever got luxurious stuff but my precious mother made sure that we remained happy with the little we had.
Going to the mall to buy clothes was a nightmare for me because all the nice clothes that I wanted would never fit me. I went to numerous shops to buy a pair of pants but no matter where I went, I still got the same results when trying them on. It just wouldn’t fit!
I eventually gave up and admitted to myself that the plus sized department was where I could get clothes that actually fit. Again was I swimming in embarrassment as I always imagined how people were gossiping, giggling and laughing at this young overweight kid. I was never really considered myself as an attractive or pretty girl. Boys would normally say that I had a nice face,” if only it was possible to place it on a better looking body shape.”


I had some great child memories though.